Letting Go Of The Need To Compare

We have only one obligation in life and that’s to be completely who we are. It’s a human condition to spend waisted time comparing ourselves to others. This one act alone is the most deadly thing we can do to ourselves. Unconsciously this is encouraged as necessary in the pursuit of excellence.  We humans constantly aspire to long for what others have accomplished. Yet when we compare ourselves to others, we lose sight of ourselves and are not able to understand the true reality of those we look up to. We only experience the emotional upheaval of comparing.


The wind was howling as everyone was scurrying to prepare for the next days show. Parker Colorado was known for having extreme weather. I started to hear the pelting sound of raindrops on the roof of the stables. The young women who were organizing themselves were quiet. I felt tension in the environment.

Cleaning tack is an opportunity for everyone to create a Zen like state for themselves. A soothing feeling came over me as I dropped my hand in the warm water squeezing out the excess soap in the sponge. I began to run it over the dirt and sweat on the bridal leather I was holding.  One of my young women who I coach, started to show she was feeling upset. Tears began to stream down her cheeks. I asked her to share what was troubling her. She answered,  “there are so many horses here that are better movers and so much nicer than mine” I gathered her in my arms and gave her a big warm soothing hug.

I began to share a common message which arises in these circumstances. It’s important to me to help my students find their self-confidence. I began to share the dangers of comparing oneself to others. I continued informing her that there is no other human being on the property who is on her journey nor is there another horse with the unique precious qualities as hers. I informed her that her only obligation was to her horse and to herself. By being present for each other she would obtain the ability to learn self growth, love and inner appreciation. I concluded that with her horse as her guide, this is her heroes journey within.

History is riddled with humbling stories of misfortunes giving all humans the opportunity to return to exactly who we are.  When we embrace each other and forgive ourselves, we become authentic and present to the magnificence of the fabric of our lives.

When we learn to release and let go of the need to compare. We begin the journey of recognizing and being our true selves. 

By Donnette Hicks 

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